Mother

May 28, 2026

Sitting atop the Umpire Rock at Central Park, I turned over to my friend and said, “It just doesn’t pay to be good”.

That was a heavy statement coming from me: a delusional dreamer, an eternal optimist who’d always made a conscious effort to, à la Monty Python, look at the bright side of life (whistle whistle whistle).

But that week, I’d been knees deep in current events: news of human rights violations and rampant corruption by our federal government, feeds of grifters that encourage it for clicks and views, and the skewed narratives of the community- at-large, whose preferred recourse for dealing with all this is turning on each other.

I’d tried to turn it off: listen to my favorite history podcast, but that was an even more stark reminder that those most revered are often the most ruthless.

Ruthlessness, i.e. lacking compassion for others, is something I just don’t have the capacity for. And I’m not trying to martyr myself here, I’m far from a girl scout. It’s just that I have too much shame. Morally, I just wouldn’t be able to live with it. I see myself as a decent person: how could I knowingly take advantage of others? Doing so would go against my self-image. And so, perhaps selfishly so, I try, for as much as I can, to put more good out into the world than bad.

But seeing how much the opposite of decency is rewarded, I can understand why others chose differently. Maybe I’d have more of what our society deems as “success” if I did too.

“I blame my mother” I joked to my friend Lisa "Rubi G." Ventura over voice note the other day.

She raised me to be a good girl. Someone with morals and scruples. She taught me to have character, something that’s becoming more so a thing of the past. And when I find myself refusing to compromise my ethical standards for gain, I am broke (lol), yet I’m at peace.

And so, although I realize the second Sunday of May has come and gone here in the states, El Día De Las Madres Dominicanas is this weekend and I wanted to share this piece that I wrote at a Mother’s Day event several years back.

My mom is a traditional woman who sees it her duty to run the home. Whether I agree with some of the old school gender expectations that my very Dominican parents adhere to, or not, the reality is, that as the Matriarch, she is the heart of my family, the moral authority that we all look up to.

She’s the kindest woman I know and the strongest, by far. That may sound like a contradiction, but I’m of the belief that they cannot possibly exist without each other. You have to be strong to remain soft in a world that values harshness.

Thank you mami, for making me “good”.